15 foods that merit calling me a "beigetarian"

A beigetarian is what Baby Daddy (an award-winning executive chef, remember) calls me. Right after he reminds me to eat for the third time that day.

Things I typically eat, if by “typically” you mean “daily” and in place of any other, more colorful, food, and if by “eat” you mean “begrudgingly pick at”:

1. Refried beans.

2. Peanut butter only sandwiches (jam? jelly? gross and gross.) You know how everyone seems to have their go-to kind of sandwich that they imagine/assume is being referenced when the concept of “sandwich” comes up? I think of a peanut butter sandwiches.

3. Hummus.

4. Soy Paté spread (hey, it has different ingredients than hummus so it definitely counts as an additional food).

5. Wheat bread.

6. Wheat toast (it’s a different…um…preparation).

7. Cashews.

8. Trailmix with the M&Ms avoided (and thus, the color).

9. Ramen noodles, “oriental” flavor.

10. Croissants. Or really anything that resembles bread.

11. Tofu, lots.

12. Granola (also oatmeal, cream of wheat, etc.)

13. Soy milk.

14. Various meat substitutes of the tan/brown/colorless variety, like Gimme Lean soy-sage.

15. Various meal substitutes, of the tan/brown variety, like coffee.

About these ads