Call Gonzo?
It started with picking up blocks and pretending he was “calling grandma.” What a lovely bit of pretend play, coupled with a genuine interest in social engagement and recognition of the important people in his life! Now he’s shoving our iPhones in our faces and demanding that we “call Elmo! call Kermit! call Old MacDonald!”
Um…former “no screen time!” idealized parenting style=failed. And…is he pretending we can call these fictional people, mistaking fictional people for real people, or just reflecting back to us the new reality of communications and media-viewing technologies having collapsed into one another? Can that last sentence be written any more poorly? It’s past 10 p.m. and I just got done with my night job, after working all day at my day job. So I can barely see straight, let alone write well polished and coherent sentences.
Incidentally my day job is teaching a writing class.
And my night job is tutoring undergraduate and graduate students in–you guessed it–writing.
I also work as a freelance editor.
So, I should be better at this. But sometimes I’m not. MOVING ON!
So yeah, Hank has been watching TV. And we haven’t been the best at limiting it. We still spend far more time reading and playing, making watermelon-chicken-leg-random-floor-garbage soup (his specialty!) in his play kitchen, or going on walks, visiting the public library, etc., overall, than watching TV. But the TV viewing isn’t strictly monitored or scheduled. And in the mornings the first thing out of the kid’s mouth, most days, is “Go downstairs and watch the Muppet Show? See Kermit? See Steve Martin?”
Hold. The. Phone. No kid of mine should know Steve Martin by name. Shop Girl was so bad I WALKED OUT of the theater.
Okay, that’s a lie. I wanted to walk out of the theater. And I indeed did “walk out” temporarily, as I was a pack+ a day smoker back then, and left to smoke a cigarette and talk to a companion about how bad it was. But I went back in and suffered through the rest of it. I had gone with a number of colleagues and didn’t want to make the person who had chosen the movie (such a perilous role to play in a group setting) feel bad.
I think I’ve seen Dirty Rotten Scoundrels (should it not be “Dirty, Rotten Scoundrels“?) not less than 20 times, though. I had odd taste in movies as a kid, as I suppose we all did. I think I watched Nothing But Trouble twice in one weekend.
Oh, the reason my toddler recognizes Steve Martin, by the way, is that he’s seen an episode of The Muppet Show that Martin guest stars in about 50,000 times since we checked the DVD out from the library.
The brand and likeness and name recognition that has kicked in since we allowed Hank to watch TV is startling, though. I hate to overblow-it, but I really do think that before TV he was a concept generating machine, coming up with new words and ways to express himself daily. And now it’s more like new ways to express his desire to watch Elmo, hourly.
Tips on TV limiting? Tips to not worry about it? Things that have worked for you? Truly terrible movies that you loved as a child?
I don’t have tips because I’m in exactly the same boat. To be honest, I never even tried to wait until Charlotte was two. I was so excited to have a kid with whom I could watch Sesame Street, I think I turned it on for the first time around ten months.
It was 15-20 minutes tops of that in the mornings while I got my bearings until we moved. We lost cable and got Netflix, and there was just so much temptation. Oh! I wonder if she’d like Wallace and Gromit. I’ll just throw on a Dora so I can make breakfast. Wonder Pets? What’s that like? (Never again, Wonder Pets.)
There are whole days that we don’t let her watch anything, mostly because Chris is way more uncomfortable with it than I and insists on TV free days. There are days she only watches an episode of Kipper. And there are days when she watches an entire Disney movie (in two sittings, but…still)
Honestly, I don’t think you or I should worry. I think the fact that we DO worry means we’re conscientious enough to ensure it doesn’t become too big an issue. And all the walks and trips to the library, the pretend play, the conversing with them like they’re adults, it’s gonna pay off. Regardless of whether or not Hank recognizes Steve Martin and Charlotte wants to watch “The Nightmare Before Christmas” upon waking.
I loved all kinds of horrible movies as a kid–when I was younger, there were the requisite kids movies (Recently rewatched The Neverending Story or Labrinth. They’re…not as great as you might remember, though the nostalgia factor is high for me). There’s also this one movie, The Legend of Billie Jean King, that I watched religiously. I’m sure there were more.
Oh, also, random fact. A family member lived w/Steve Martin back before he was famous. He actually was mentioned in Martin’s recent memoir. Interesting factoid to probably no one but me.
I have no help on the TV watching…we’ve started down that slippery slope a little, but I’m not home during the day to know how much “a little” is, and frankly, I can’t worry about it (relinquish control Ginger, relinquish control).
I was just reading (someone on the internet who I can’t remember) thoughts on the recent streak of parodies that Sesame Street’s been doing (“Desperate Houseplants”, “Mad Men” [which I will give points to if only for using the word "sycophants"], “30 Rocks”, even that Old Spice commerical). It’s nothing new, they’ve been parodying popular sitcoms, dramas, and game shows for decades, mostly in an effort to get parents to watch along with their children. Which is a noble cause, but apparently one of the early complaints lodged against Sesame Street was that it wasn’t just teaching kids via television, it was teaching kids HOW to watch television. The educational lessons were there, but so were the rules and structures of television, wrapped in simplistic colorful sketches.
The author had dismissed the theory when he first heard it years ago, but wasn’t so sure anymore…
Oh, and mostly unrelated: Ophelia loves Shari Lewis and Lamchop.
I don’t have tips either, because my kid…doesn’t like tv? I’m not being uppity. I’m actually worried it “means something” in terms of development. He only looks at the tv if someone is singing and/or dancing, and then he joins in. Weirdo.
I wouldn’t worry about Hank and tv. He has a balanced diet of everything else in life. He’ll be fine.
If he likes Steve Martin, he neeeeeeds to see The Jerk. Best Steve Martin movie ever. Shopgirl totally blew.
@ Ginger I love your family factoid, probably because I’ve had a Steve Martin crush since I was a little kid. Now I think he’s a dick, but he’s still attractive.
I am feeling the TV thing. We went from one hour of Sesame Street on Fridays when Iris wasn’t even 1 to her knowing every single character on her two favorite shows. We do a daily dance of “Elmo”, “Dabda” (Yo Gabba Gabba), and “MORE dabda?”. Just this week I was reading her a book while she led her Cookie monster and Foofa dolls in a make out session.
But she also knows Biz Markie and Mark Mothersbaugh and attempts to beat box on a daily basis. And I have to admit that those things thrill me.
Eh. We used to be really vigilant about TV, and then we realized she liked it. And we can get ready for work in the morning with her watching Elmo. Our “excuse” is that we don’t have cable, not even the box connector thingy, so she only watches DVDs and no commercials, which are what slay me. But she was becoming somewhat insistent, so our new rule is that no Elmo until she eats dinner when she comes home. It’s a battle, but a good one, and sometimes she gets so caught up in playing and trying NOT to eat dinner that she plays all night, sated by a banana before bedtime, and TV has not been watched. Sometimes on the weekends it’s a DVD fest in the morning, but again, there’s lot of play, walks and adventures.
The kids are alright.
I’ve written abou this before, but when it comes to TV, we have the “meh” approach. She catches Sesame Street in the morning, then goes a whole day without tv, and then at night, unless there’s some kind of sports ball thing going on, no tv again. We ditched cable in favor of DVDs and Netflix too, and i was surprised when she loved The Black Stallion. There’s a movie that was a FAY-VOR-IT! of mine when I was a kid, and I gotta tell you, it holds up. The first 30 minutes are gorgeous … oh, and it’s Francis Ford Coppola and there are horses. So, I mean, how can you go wrong?
Speaking of Sesame Street, is it just me or does it suck? I do like Murray and his Little Lamb and the more old school muppet antics, but Abby’s Flying Fairy School is TERRIBLE — worse than Elmo in my opinion. When When When?? Are they going to release Volume 3 of Sesame Street Old School?
The problem with TV limiting is that it also limits your own free time. My kids watch 30 minutes in the morning and 30 in the afternoon but sometimes I let them watch more, if they haven’t napped, for example, and I haven’t had a break in 12 hours.
But if you decide to limit, I recommend setting it and reinforcing it and until your kid can understand “exceptions” DO NOT vary from the limit. I got sloppy for a while and allowed an additional 30 minutes before lunch, and then they started to expect it and look kind of zombie like so I scaled back again. Hard for the first few days, then it’s the new rule and so be it.
Well-placed programming can be a good thing. My guys have never seen “live” TV so someday, when they see their first commercials, their brains will explode. Not looking forward to that day.
I wasn’t allowed to watch much TV when I was a kid. So I went to friends’ houses and watched it there. I especially loved The A-Team.
No tips, just commiseration that you are by no means alone in parenting a) intentions of no/limited TV that have gone slightly awry (read: we were both sick & had Fraggle Rock on DVD) & b) a toddler who’s imaginary telephone conversations begin “Hello Muppets! How are you!?!”.
We have decided that these kids are going to grow up in a screen-based world (I write, typing on my iPod…) so some screen time is not only inevitable but maybe even necessary. DVDs are preferable to cable for their lack of ads & ability to be watched on the parents’ terms (timing, duration, etc.) Also, anything truly Jim Henson (Muppet Show, Fraggles, Sesame Street “Old School”) is to be encouraged, so good for Hank for his Kermit Steve Martin enjoyment!
My 14 month old watches classic Sesame Street songs on YouTube sitting on my lap so that I can clip his fingernails and toenails. I honestly don’t see any other way to accomplish this chore, as he is a nonstop pile of MOVEMENT. Other than that, since we don’t have cable/box/whatever, he only watches his Your Baby Can Read videos (and by “watch” I mean begs me to turn them on and then mostly ignores them except for his favorite words or songs come on). On rare occasions that we watch illegally streamed TV (via laptop/HDMI/TV connection), usually sports, the kid still mostly ignores it. So I guess I don’t have anything for you, either.
However, regarding childhood movies…I made the horrendous mistake of thinking it would be fun to watch Labyrinth and The Dark Crystal (my all-time childhood favorite) at my 18th birthday party (a co-ed sleepover). Big. Mistake. Wow. So so so awful. I think everyone there wanted to punch me in the face. LOL
What the *hell* is the deal with elmo? Why do all kids like him(?) so damn much?
So, our deal with TV is this: It’s on. All the time. Most of the time, anyway. Honestly, she doesn’t watch it that much. She really only pays attention to it if Yo Gabba Gabba is on, and I’m careful to only put that on if I’m comfortable with her watching it then. It’s about … an hour a day, if that? I don’t even think she makes it through the whole 20 minute episode before she’s off and running with some crayons. She sits on the couch and it’s on, but she’s usually reading a book or coloring and not really looking at it.
My theory is this, and it might be bullshit, but my kid seems to be proving it: If you make it a Super Speshul Funtime Thing, then they want it more. If it’s just … there for the taking, then it’s not really all that big of a deal, and she’s not that focused on it.
It’s not perfect around here, I hate how much the tv is on and even when I shut it off and turn on youtube to play music videos from when I was a kid my kids still get sucked in and just stare, mesmerized at Annie Lennox. My only tip is to unplug the tv. Children are enterprising, sweet little criminals and they will learn how to turn that box of commercials on in a flash. My mom always teases me, “you’re just like your Aunt Shirley! She took the tubes out of the back of the tv!” Damn straight. Her kids were active, creative little creatures and I want mine to be too.